me, dad, and mom holding my sister Kelly
Today the thing I am most thankful for is centered around my extended family--my mom,dad and sister. This thing I am calling reconnecting and reconciling.
My sister divorced her husband of 13 years and ran off with a man she had met on the internet, leaving her adopted special needs son here in our state with her ex-husband, seven years ago. I have not seen, nor heard from my sister in at least 5 years and the fall out from her actions have gone deep and wide within our family. Many of these issues have not been dealt with and have basically been the proverbial elephant in the room.
There has been much pain, hurt, anger and misconceptions a plenty and now she is back in our state, living 10 minutes away from me, no less! She has been here since May and to say things have been awkward and somewhat explosive would be an understatement. But, in the last week I have begun to see a glimmer of hope that we can become a family again--one that enjoys being together not just one that is forced together for the holidays.
We all have a ways to go--we are all stubborn with a capital S. I am slowly realizing that I will probably never see eye-to-eye with my parents over several things, and yes, they have hurt my feelings deeply, but I CAN let go of this. Maybe not all at once and sometimes I may grab some of that anger/frustration back, but life really is too short for all this crud. I am also seeing quite clearly how much my parents have aged and how that is affecting them throughout all this drama.
So, I have a sister again. Our relationship may not look the way Mom wants it to look, but we have both agreed to help mom keep out of this part of the problem and let us work through it our way in our time.
Two months ago I was dreading Thanksgiving, the first holiday with Kelly back. Now? I am kind of looking forward to all being together again.