only 6 minutes....

You would think after 25 year of this motherhood thing under my belt, I would be used to the highs and lows of a mother's emotions. But, alas, not so. I am constantly amazed by the magnitude of emotions I experience where my children are concerned. And when I use the term children, that still includes my 25 year old married daughter and my 23 year old college man/son, along with the two stars of my blog these past couple of years, Austen and Sam ages 16 and 13.


Today was the regional solo/ensemble competition, which Austen has competed in the past 2 years. I wrote about last years experience here.

His goal was to finally get that elusive marking of a 1.
A rating of 1 means, Superior.
He has been working on his piece since last summer.
All he wanted was the 1.
A pay off for all his hard work and diligence.


He warmed up in the cafeteria with all the other musicians. It was loud!





This year it was only 6 minutes of him playing his heart out. Only 6 minutes of me holding my breath, waiting for that last run to be played. But, 6 minutes of me, the mom, wondering if it is possible for a heart to actually burst with pride and admiration?




After those heart stopping 6 minutes, I force myself to breathe normally as the judge critiques him. Then the waiting begins. The waiting for that all important score. Will it be a 2 again or will it be a 1. Please oh please let him get that 1. Just this once. He doesn't think he played it as well as he could have and begins to give us his critique of the performance, while we of course reassure him that it was great. Because it WAS great. We move away from the performance rooms into the cafeteria where the scores will be posted.



We wait.
I knit. The boys and dad grab the ping pong table that becomes available to play a game and relieve some tension.


Finally the scores are up!




He is shocked and overwhelmed and totally surprised and not sure what to think at first. Yeah! He got that score of 1! But also was chosen of all the scores of 1 to go to state!!!!! Never in his wildest dreams did he consider he had a chance to get picked to go to the state championships!


In April we will travel over the mountains to Ellensburg where the state competition is held every year.
We get to do this all over again!
I wonder if my heart can take it?


And so, today I go to clean a dentist office, a second little job we picked up to pay for the boys' private lessons. It is a job Kerry and I do every weekend and I complain quite a bit, every week on our way there.

Today, I will not complain.


Today I will remember the joy on my boy's face, as I realize that it is oh-so worth it. I love you Austen, more than you will ever know.