I am tired of being treated like the oldest child/daughter while my 44 year old sister is still being treated like a baby.
There are some things I just don't have within me to fix and my heart is feeling quite bruised and broken tonight. I opened a big can of worms that the rest of my family has been dancing around with their eyes closed for several years and the worst part is that they seem to have rewritten history in their minds to make themselves look better.
After talking with them I feel like I have just had a 20 minute session of banging my head against a brick wall. I really don't like being accused of things that didn't happen, or of things I never said. I am tired of being treated like the bad guy when I express that I have been hurt.
Frankly, I am just plain tired of thinking about my family and this elephant in the closet. My parents don't know about my blog, so wishing my father a happy Father's Day here is kind of moot point as he won't see it. But I don't think that after the *discussion* we all had on the phone tonight that I will be seeing him on Sunday.
.....sigh....
I think I will try to stick my head in the sand like the rest of my crazy family, and crawl in to bed with my book.
Tomorrow is new day.
4 comments:
I'm sorry Kim.
Oh, Kim, for me there is nothing so awful as feeling at odds with the people I love. Of course we ALL have family stuff we deal with! I couldn't begin to blog about it because they all read my blog! Besides, my blog is sort of my own nice little home that I've created so I mostly write about happy things. The way I would want my life to be all the time. And when I'm harried and rushed and feeling frustrated with my kids, I try to find the humor in it, but I sure don't feel that way most of the time in "real life!"
I'm sorry you had words with your mom. You've obviously learned something over the years from the relationship though, because you and your daughter are so close. I hope my daughter and I will be that way when she's grown and married. After the past few days, I'm not so sure. It's been just awful. But since my friends and family read my blog, I don't dare write about it, because I want them to think she's just a little sweetheart;0) and we have such a nice mother/daughter thing going.
Be good to yourself, I know you have a heart of gold:)
I'm so sorry, Kim. We're not perfect here, either. I just have enough people who know I blog that I don't vent there.
We always had our elephants dancing in the corner and everyone ignored them. (I told my sister they needed names.) We kept the skeletons in the closet!! I hope you know I'm just being a smart alec--sometimes it is that or crying.
Sending you hugs across the net.
Julie
I'm sorry you've had that happen. I think Stacy and I have decided that EVERY family is dysfunctional in some way or another, or we're hoping that so we feel better about our own stuff sometimes! Family stuff is hard and we all deal with differing things...hope you're feeling better now!
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